Start of the month and things have started dull and slow as ever. Feeling trapped in the depth of pessimism and monotony, there is a glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel but the impatience is making it harder to sail through this. Every aspect of living seems fragile and heavily tested e.g. no fun and all work in the most dull office environment is sucking all the life; that is left from inside me, no exercise/sport is having apparent physical implications, constant reminder of someone's pain and distress is also ripping the inside apart (wish he gets well soon), can't seem to connect to the spiritual side as I would have liked to and always one step behind inevitably or lazily whatever you may call it. Feeling it really hard to see any positives lately, doesn't mean there aren't any happening....
Waiting desperately for someone to free me from this misery. Wonder when that time will come - when all the missing pieces will fit in. There is in fact "
time for everything", believing in which keeps me going. Crawling if not running or walking towards it, I will ultimately get to it and everything seems to mellow down all because of it.
I guess what I desperately seek at this stage is a certain piece of mind and a pair of ears I could turn to and seek refuge.....
